“The Golden Book” by Dale Carnegie
This is “The Golden Book” on the right there. I took a picture of it when I found it knowing it was something I wanted to share with you all. Things like this are gems aren’t they? I remember doing the Dale Carnegie course back in the 80’s…obviously I knew at one level my life would unfold on a stage! This little book is 4 (small) pages, written in 1936, given to me by my dad and is straight to the point. I image business people carried it around in their hip pocket reminding them of the principles and sayings.
I’m going to share with you the points taken from “How To Win Friends And Influence People” as they are outlined exactly in Dale Carnegie’s “The Golden book”…enjoy.
Become a Friendlier Person
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest, sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other persons interests.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it (not sure if BJ would agree with this he always said “conflict clarifies!”).
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never tell a person he or she is wrong.
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and empathically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately (ummm…the “yes yes” agreement!).
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view (we know trying is an illusion…you either do it or you don’t as my dad taught me!).
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas (I see chiropractors doing this!).
- Throw down a challenge (I can also see chiropractors doing this!).
Be a Leader
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Copyright© Dale Carnegie 1936